Bridgy’s Birthday!

What do you buy the lad who has everything?

It’s not meant to be a ‘Billy Big Time’ statement, nor give the impression that Mick is some kind of Sheik, or Russian Ogliarch who holidays on his gulf stream jet, and has the odd billion or two at his disposal.

He may wish this the case, (and I totally do!) But, it’s not a monetary thing that I’m talking about.

You see, Mick has his health, he has his happiness (except for this mornings total hissyfit………..he forgot that he had to do the Monday morning ‘walk of shame’, and pick up the abandoned car from the Bowlo. And because of this, was now running incredibly late, huffing and puffing like the Big Bad bloody Wolf!)

He has a career which he loves, a family that love him, a knicker, sock and hanky drawer full to the brim…………………and he has a boat!

Seriously, what more could a bloke want!

So, because of this, I decided to do something for him that I have never, and will never, EVER do again.

……………………………..I cooked a dinner party!!!

This may seem like a totally pathetic, (and an absolute total cop out) present to the domesticated goddesses out there. But, to me, who wasn’t born with a shred of a Delia or a Nigella gene in my body…….this gift is almost on par with selling my soul to the devil!

Let me stress to you that my ‘unique gift’ lightbulb moment was never supposed to include me actually cooking the meal. I Initially thought that I would book in Maria’s Kitchen to cater for this dinner party. Maria is a lovely lady who comes highly recommended and cooks for you in your home. But unfortunately, Magnificent Maria was fully booked, forcing Crappy Kate to do the honours!

Then, I thought that I could just cheat, and order in from local Thai.  Yes! we would do that!!!!

But after a moment of guilt racked Thai menu browsing, I had an epiphany!

I had set myself a challenge,

and, well, I’m not one for giving into a challenge! (Body Pump class this morning………20kg on the squat track………. BOO YA! it half killed me, to the point of needing help down the stairs after the class, but I just wouldn’t let it beat me!)

So, three course dinner party last Saturday night it was!

Not that I am trying to win any brownie points before you read my ‘kindergarden could do it’ menu,  I must just add into the mix that I was ill on Saturday! Not like man flu ill, just the horrible winter lurgy that I had been popping echinacea’s to avoid, had finally gotten the better of me!

So, along with my cricked neck, bad cold and complete lack of culinary skills, here I go!


Freshly caught prawns,

Anti Pesto or is it Pasto? ha!, I don’t even know what the word is, let alone the ingredients.

Dips, and other easy shop bought containers, (obviously poured straight into white crockery to look all fancy)

Main Course:

Blended Spaghetti Bolognaise.  You may think why blended? Well, apart from anything else, it makes a pathetically simple dish sound slightly less childlike! but secondly, it’s because I actually prefer the blended texture! It started out as a magical way to hide as many veggies into the pot, so that my then two year old that won’t touch anything green,  would unknowingly eat his five a day. But it is a habit that I have continued to this day, and, other than the ‘no baby food for me please’ request from my mother, we always blend the Bolognaise!

Third, fourth and fifth course:

Apple Pie. Homemade. By me. Yes, even the pastry.

Birthday cake. Not Homemade. Not even feeling guilty about this fact.

Cheese Platter. I must add. And the sole purpose is to jazz it up a little, that I even cooked Camembert cheese and added cranberry glaze.

I needn’t have bloody bothered, because the fifth course never made it’s way out of the fridge, and, as a result is the reason that I am having possibly THE most lavish of Monday lunches!


 P.S My plan of refilling, and refilling the guests wine glasses to hide the taste of my food seemed to have worked well, and everyone left absolutely hammered!

And I don’t want to tempt fate but it’s so far so good that I haven’t poisoned anyone!

Surprising success I’d say!










  1. Denise Moncrieff says:

    Well done xx

  2. Oo, looking forward to our ” welcome to oz” dinner in october!!!!! X

  3. If only you had mentioned this before the weekend. I cook 3 course meals every Valentine’s Day, I would have helped. Plus live locally. But congratulations, it certainly is a present made with love.

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