Missing my man.

I don’t cope well with last minute plan changes, nor do I much like surprises. Although I DO like spontaneity, (in the form of a last minute day trip for example)…..I DON’T much like it when Mick’s friends rock up unannounced to ‘Hotel Bridges’ with a suitcase under their arm! (believe you me, this happen’s quite often)

But……….what I cope with in the very worst way………..is sleep deprivation.

How on earth I ever coped with the two sleep deprived years after the twinnies descended upon us is beyond me.

When I look back to that time, I think I must have spent most of it walking around in a haze! the easiest way to describe it to non parents, is like being permanently intoxicated, like being in that ‘incapable of decision making state’, except it is minus the liquor, and certainly without the fun!


Anyway, we all got through that little delightful period, relatively unscathed. (well, if I’m honest, there was an almightily row with the Mother In Law, completely at the fault of yours truly, but, after a strong cup of coffee and my heartfelt apology we soon made up!)

However, The luxury of the 9 hour, dream filled slumber eventually became part of my life again. And, apart from the odd snore, or toilet trip of my beloved to wake me up, I gradually returned to being a ‘half decent’ human being!

That is, until two nights ago……

After beeping at man at traffic lights who quite obviously fails to recognise green, snapping at kids, shouting at corner of kitchen bench that whacked against my hip, and basically being the woman that people need to cross the street to avoid,  I realised that yesterday, due to a bad night’s sleep…….. I was once again a demon in disguise!

The initial cause of my fury……………our animals, I dealt with promptly. Usually I feed them the minute I wake up, but yesterday I turfed them and their empty bellies straight out the back door.

One morning of grazing in the backyard wasn’t going to harm them.

Now, before you go dobbing me into the RSPCA, these animals are usually treated better than the kids………..Seriously!


I mean, they have two meals a day, served  to them on silver dishes, lounge access during the day,  kingsize bed at night,  exercised come rain,hail or shine, I mean, c’mon, they even have their crap quite literally picked up for them! And, as gratitude to this human 5 star care, they think that playing WWF with each other at 3am and keeping me up all night is acceptable!

Well, they can think again!

I decided that, for the safety of the rest of the world…..to skip on my usual bed time of 11.30/12 (terribly addicted to terrible T.V), I would rest my weary head, and retire to bed at the more sensible time of 10pm.

Or so I thought!

You see, yesterday, living in Lake Macquarie, was like living in the Rotor Ride at the Hoppings! (To all non Geordies, it’s a wind tunnel ride that sticks you to the walls by the centrifugal force.)  I had already attempted to baton down the hatches, and bring in all the breakables from the balcony. Not until I got into bed and put my head on the pillow, did I realise that I had missed that one key balcony item!

The bloody hanging chair, perfectly positioned, to capture the last ray’s of sunlight, just a few yards away from…………. my pillow!!!

I tired to ignore the incessant thud, thuddery, .thud, thud………THUD for no less than 3 HOURS!!!!.

Seriously, 3 hours, I was clock watching!

Because it was cold, I went to bed in a hoody, ( yes, I know it’s Australia, and it’s around 12 degrees at night but I’ve obviously acclimatised!) I even used the hood and the string ties to clamp down over my head, along with my thick afro hair tied up in buns at my ears, Princess Leia style,  to act as ear plugs, and I could still hear that darn THUD!

Normally I would give Mick, the darling husband, the elbow nudge in the back and get him to deal with it, but as he is 8396 miles away living it up in Rio De Janeiro, I was left to suck it up, and fix it myself.

Yeah right!!!

Just opening up the doors gave me a free face lift!, I seriously have never known wind quite like it!

It’s a good job really that it was, by now, 1.15am, and by being pitch black, thankfully no one was around to watch the hilariousness of what was about to unfold!

Firstly, the egg chair is heavy!

Secondly, it is very heavy!

Factor in a catergory 5 tornado, and that makes my job nigh on impossible! You see, you have to support the weight of the chair with one hand, while unhooking the hook with the other! priceless entertainment for the shining stars overhead!

But, with the steely determination of this madly tired woman, chuck into the mix a few swear words, and a massive scrape of skin  now missing from my shin, I finally did it!


But after all of that I STILL couldn’t get to sleep!

I must be missing my man.





  1. Oh, you poor thing. I was thinking of you on your own, when i saw the weather that was forcast.

  2. Jessica says:

    Hahahahah mint! Can just imagine you! 🙂 xx

  3. Good job we didn’t meet up the other night then !
    I must say a facelift sounds appealing though so I could have helped you out with the chair.
    Time to come home Mick !!!

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